Fight To Resolve, Not to Win (Colossians 3:19)

In this hypercompetitive world we live, we hear phrases like, “Kill or be killed!” or “Survival of the Fittest!” Most of us can take this with a grain of salt but the pervasive culture that abounds sometimes carries over to our most precious relationships-our spouse.

Every married couple will have conflict. But it is how we resolve these conflicts that matters. If one listens to the ranting of the world, then a conflict can only be resolved with one side claiming a victory. But a Christian couple is called to a much higher standard. As Pastor Greg Laurie states, “Fight to resolve, not to win.”

I have definitely been guilty of wanting to get the last word in, to make sure my point is made and defended. I would even take the arrogant and vainglorious stance that even if my wife did not agree with my point, she at least understands it. It is a hollow victory at the least.

Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
Colossians 3:19

This word harsh can also be translated “to embitter”, literally to make a bitter taste in the stomach. When one fights to win, the results is more than a bad taste, it is bad communication. Marriage is advanced communication and advanced living. It is a relationship that is blessed and ordained by God. Thus when we fight, it should not be to embitter, but to honor God by resolving it.

Yes, it is easier said than done. But it can begin now. If you are a believer in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, He promises to give you His loving and peaceful Spirit to love your wife the way that Christ loves all of His children.

Love and trust the Lord; seek His will in your life.